003

Alaska becomes a popular tourist destination. Truly can’t beat 30 Days of Night. The first to think of going there, they of the black eyes and sharp teeth, complain that it all went to shit once the Cullen cousins moved in. They completely gentrified Alaska and drove all the best food (people trying to escape their past and libertarians) away. 

Elsewhere...

The citizenship board discusses several cases. First on the docket: Vlad the Impaler.  He is not technically a vampire, but he did inspire the most famous vampire of all time. He certainly kills plenty of people and he understands the culture. Stoker always blocked it, but the new chairman of the Council of Draculas, Coppola, is in favor of allowing Vlad to be a citzen of Vamp World. And with the support of the Council of Draculas, the motion passes. 

Manbat’s citizenship bid is denied once again. He’ll be back next week. 

Elsewhere...

The Ketchup Vampires tell the Cullens that they give vegetarians a bad name. 

002

The Draculas held their anual meeting. There was talk that for the first time Stoker was going to face competition for his seat as chairman of the Board of Draculas. Word was, Coppola was going to run. Of course most people had gotten the intel from Dead and Loving It, so it had to be taken with a grain of salt. 

Not many Draculas woulld discuss who they planned to vote for. Though most privately thought that Legosi would be the only vote that mattered. Where Legosi led, most Draculas followed. Many thought that Legosi would run, lord knows he and Stoker had had their differences, but Legosi said he had no interest in leadership, though of course there was that subtle implication that if he were to run he would most certainly win. 

Elsewhere...

All You Can Eat Buffet the Vampire Slayer opens for business.

Elsewhere...

Noserfatu sits alone at the bar. Lestat had said he was coming out, but he hadn’t returned any of Noseratu’s texts in an hour. Colin Robinson sidles up to Noserfatu. Begins a monologue on how the porn industry actually dictates which format will dominate in physical media. Noseratu fakes a phone call. Goes home alone, again.

Elsewhere...

The voting begins. Lee votes for Stoker, no surprise there. Reborn, XXX, and Monster Squad all Vote Stoker. 

Castlevania is the first to break ranks. He votes Coppola. The levy breaks. Blacula votes Coppola. 3D votes Coppola.

Then. Legosi. Votes. Coppola. 

Then it’s a bloodbath. 

Young Dracula. Penny Dreadful. Quackula, Chocula (he’s on a lot of boards, he;s a joiner). Ghoul School and Reluctant Werewolf. Animaniac. Monster High. Superfriends. They all voted Coppola. 

001

Lestat and Nosferatu go for a drink. Louis is being a bitch and Nos is always ready to lend a sympathetic ear. He and Lestat see the world the same way. Nosferatu wishes that Lestat would finally break up with Louis, and maybe he would finally notice that Nosferatu was head over heels in love with him. 

Elsewhere...

Bill Compton, acting as representative of his territory, meets with the Sesame Street and Kellog counterparts. Bill and Chocula may butt heads more often than not, but at the end of the day they both want the same thing, to protect the vampire community. 

Elsewhere...

Spike and Eric spend a night in, bleaching their hair and watching Moonstruck. 

Elsewhere...

Jimmy Buffet the Vampire Slayer stalks the night, mowing down vamps in a halter top. He slays one last vamp and then quips “What a sleazeburger in paradise.” 

Willow and Xander laugh dutifully.